You love designer handbags. You collect them, lust after them and treat them better than the nearest and dearest.
Your credit cards twitch and flinch when the latest fashion magazines arrive in the mail, sound small wimpering bring it to you gently from your wallet.
You convince yourself that you can give them anytime, no problem.
"It's not about" you tell your friends "I can control it".
Then you find yourself signing up for work the night her husband without his knowledge, vision creation of new Hyanuki shimmering in front of your eyes when you fill out an application form.
Are you an addict? Are your habits become dangerous? Will it all end in tears?
Well, if any of the following symptoms are familiar to you - perhaps you should consider temporarily reducing to a lesser brand!
1) You hear the phrase "breath", "shluffing" and "blopping" and know what it means. Even worse, you can remember the last time you did any of them.
2) UPS / FEDEX delivery men know you by your first name and say "Hi" to you on the road.
3) Are you sure your husband is having an affair with the delivery guy because he's always in your home!
4) The "box" room has been renamed "dressing room" and you try to work out which to knock down the wall to make it bigger so you can fit on a new wardrobe you need for all of your bags.
5) Your husband tells you how bad the damage the card and how you will both need to save. All you hear is "Of course you can get another handbag darling you go to choose what you want and I will arrange to sell a kidney."
6) You have to find a new place to hide your latest purchases so you do not have to answer tough questions.
7) When you get asked about a new bag you lie through your teeth, claiming you have for years and only just got out of the closet.
8) You start arguments on purpose with your husband / boyfriend / whatever just to have an excuse to buy yourself a new handbag - to entertain yourself when you feel so low!
9) You know exactly how many, as a percentage, your weekly grocery bill is as you can not spend money on a new bag.
10) If someone asks what you want as a birthday or xmas pressie, you can share a list of bags that you want that you want to be "shocked" by. The list is categorized by 17 different headings and cross-indexed.
11) Manager of your local phone shop to tell you that they hold training sessions for new staff and hope they can borrow some of your pockets for the session.
12) They then phone back again and ask if you'll be ready to provide training sessions instead.
13) Fashion magazines phone you to ask for what you think about the latest trend or design will be for the new season.
14) Your collection is so big - you have to use index cards to find the bag that you need now!
15) You walk through fields of cows and spent the next thirty minutes working on your head and how many bags would be good to trim the herd.
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